Month: August 2011

alphabet dictionary (N-Z)

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N – is for nonsense – anything that you don’t understand, esp. If spoken or written by someone who’s younger or not acknowledged to be as smart as you. If the same thing was written or spoken by someone considered to be very smart then it would be called “philosophy”. Any objections to your/generally acceptably thoughts is also typically referred to as “nonsense”. Philosophical thought to ponder upon – is nonsense the most sensible thing ever?

O – is for opportunity – a situation in life that never seems to presents itself to you but is forever available to the folks who you do not like. For most people it’s a situation which initially seems quite promising but eventually disappears as a disappointment. For many others it’s a situation which you recognize when it’s no longer available. Random shady thought – if you are constantly unable to hear the opportunity knock on your door, maybe it’s time to install a door bell.

P – for poetry – feelings of heart or thoughts expressed in a rhythmic and lyrical format. Something that only some folks seem to enjoy, few seem to understand & appreciate and even fewer seem to produce in the recent times. On many occasions, it’s written by the folks in love for their beloved and or folks in pain after getting dumped by the beloved. Random thought – does a poem ever finish?

Q – is for queen – the wife of king, who has rarely been able to rule the state in recent times, regardless of whether she is the ceremonial head or not. Lately her duties have been restricted to holding tea parties and waving her gloved hand to the masses. Also, refers to the kind of treatment given by a gentleman to his beloved before the marriage (after the marriage most queens transform into evil tyrants, atleast in the eyes of their erstwhile beholder).

R – is for rubbish – anything that is not important to self. Sometimes refers to physical substances, mostly refers to thoughts, ideas and opinions. Typically includes anything that we don’t understand or appreciate like poetry, philosophy, literature, a good advice and other people’s problems. Any criticism to this blog and post would also fall under this category. Philosophical thought – rubbish for some can be a fortune for others.

S – is for singing – exercising our vocal chords to produce (rarely) a rhythmic sound and often a tune-less noise. Something that we all think is our birthright regardless of age, gender and most importantly the talent bestowed on us by the lord. An activity frequently performed while taking a bath. A means of torture esp. If the “performer” (torturer) is a loud and enthusiastic person who incorrectly believes that (s)he sings well. Random philosophical thought – does it make sense to sing from the heart in front of a emotionally deaf person!!!

T – is for time – twin brother of money (that’s why some people confuse the two and say time is money!). Something that we’re always seem to be short of, just like money. But something that we always seem to have in abundance for our “honey”. Something that once gone never comes back, like a fantastic and original thought and a ex-girlfriend who gets married to the man of her dreams. Something that the parents always have for their kids and most kids never really seem to have for their parents. Random philosophical question – if you could travel across time once, would you go forward in time or backwards?

U – is for unique – something that we think, mostly due to our ignorance, is original and one of a kind. Typically attributed to people or thoughts. Most individuals who like to think themselves as unique are nothing but bulk photocopies of an average, currently fashionable personalities. Random thought – artificial beauty is never unique.

V – is for vengeance – a feeling or motivation that drives a few people to the glorious heights of achievement and most folks to the depths of despair and rottenness. A feeling that typically arises when we feel that something (typically love, money or fame) has been unjustly snatched away from us. Random thought – why don’t we get the feeling of vengeance when the most precious thing of all – time – is taken away (by a lousy movie/worthless discussion etc).

w – is for wisdom – something that most of us lack for the most part (if not throughout) our lives. Not to be confused with “wisdom teeth” which occur much earlier. Its something which we cannot have till the time we are in the false illusion of possessing it. For husbands it includes accepting that your wives are always right and that it’s sometimes best not to argue. For young men in love it includes the ability to smartly answer the frequently asked questions of their beloved like – what are you thinking? Or am I looking fat in this dress?

X – is for X’Mas – a time for shopping and vacation towards the end of a calender year. A celebration for the b’day of jesus, celebrated by non followers of jesus more passionately than the followers of jesus. Typically marks the start of a week long vacation for most folks during which they indulge in a number of sins most notably greed and gluttony. Typically followed by a swollen tummy and big credit card bill. Random philosophical thought – if jesus was alive, would he have liked us to sing the b’day jingle containing the lines – many girl friends to you !!!

Y – is for yellow – a color associated with dirty fellas (as the saying goes – yellow, yellow dirty fellow!). The color your teeth turn to if you drink too much coffee or smoke too many cigarettes or don’t brush them properly. Typically associated with light, taxis, butter and lemons. The color of light and the most visible color at night. Random thought – why was the color named “yellow” – it has nothing to do with yelling or keeping low!.

Z – is for zebra – a black and white horse look alike animal. An inspiration behind the pedestrian crossing on roads across the globe. The animal that very few care to remember/think about unless ofcourse they need to think of a word starting with the last letter of the alphabet. An animal that forces random philosophers to think whether it is a black animal with white stripes or a white animal with black stripes (as if it matters either ways!). Random thought – did the lord create zebra to show the beauty that can be achieved by combining the extremes – the black and the white!

alphabet dictionary (A-M)

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A – for apple – the forbidden fruit, a symbol of sin. Eaten by eve and then adam (ladies first). Since then, apple cultivators got into a marketing agreement with doctors and together they proclaimed that “a apple a day keeps the doctor away”. Also prompted isaac to think why things don’t fall upwards. Random question – are apples (symbol of sin) available in heaven?

B – for baby – refers to the class of homo-sapiens who, regardless of age and gender, are showered with hugs and kisses by the ladies and the laddies. The gentlemen in modern times also sometimes refer to their (or at times someone else’s) baby as “babe” (not to confused with babe, the pig).

C – for cat – the animal with nine lives, liked by some and hated by many. Extremely agile when the object of their attraction is milk, can be lazy on most other occasions. Can also be a source of great enlightenment as twain proclaimed – “a man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way”. Random question – can cats learn how to bark?

D – for dentist – some of the most feared folks in the world. The ones with the license to drill in your mouth. The word Dentist could have been derived from the words – dent and sadists as they make a dent in your pocket and mouth and derive sadistic pleasure out of it. Random question – should dental training institutes adopt a tag line – “drill baby drill”? (For definition of “baby” refer to letter “B”)
E – is for eating – an activity some undertake to live and some live to undertake. It involves moving your jaws in a rhythmic manner and savoring the taste of substance in your mouth. The oldest reference to this activity, explains how it led to the first “sin” committed by the mankind(or should I rather say womenkind, also refer to “A”). Philosophical thought to ponder upon – (considering the substances that we eat these days) are we eating the food or is the food eating us?

F – is for football – a round shaped object kicked around by 22 people in a park, mostly unsuccessfully (without reaching the goal), cheered by folks drinking beer on the park or in a pub. A job that leads of truck loads of fame, money and girl friends for those who excel in it and at times death for those who make mistakes. Americans have their own unique version of “football”, the one that requires more shoving and pushing than using either the foot or the ball. Random joke – why don’t females like to play football – because they do not like running around in a park, wearing the same clothes as 9 other females.

G – is for Gold – a precious shiny metal, of special interest to ladies. Slowly losing its popularity to diamonds, but still very popular nonetheless. Found in abundance in some indian temples. Should not be confused with silence, which is also considered to be golden by some.

H – is for homework – punishment given by teachers to their students and their families. Done at home by the studious kinds, done at school (by copying others’) by the naughty kinds and not done at all by the “bunking” kinds. Not to be confused with “housework” that is typically done by husbands and servants. Random thought – if students pay schools for all the school work, then shouldn’t schools pay homes for all the homework.

I – is for idiot – a set of individuals forming a majority in society. Naive and simple minded folks who want to preserve using their brains till the very end in the hope that a time will come that everybody else would have exhausted their capacity to think and then they would be able to rule the world. Random question – are those who believe others to be idiots, bigger idiots themselves?

J – is for joke – a (group of) sentence(s) spoken to an audience describing foolishness of other people (rarely, directed at own self) with an intention to highlight the smartness of the speaker. Some people find it funny and laugh, while most people do not find it funny but still laugh, either out of politeness or to show to the speaker that they have understood the humor behind it. Philosophical thought to ponder upon – is life a joke and are we all a bunch of jokers, doing random things for the entertainment of the god!!!

K – is for kiss – a symbol of showing affection when given by a mother to a child and a method of screening a potential mating partner among adults. A dangerously potent weapon in every casanova’s repertoire. It can take various forms and can involve rubbing noses (eskimo) or using tongue (as popularized by the french and american movies). Some believe that the first kiss they receive from a lover is magic, others remember it as a bad memory and immediately decide to get rid of their lover. Random thought – a kiss that is forgotten serves no purpose!

L – is for love – a feeling of affection towards another, rarely resulting from the person’s behavior, character or nature, and usually as a result of the person’s appearance, fame or money. A feeling that makes a person go blind but still produces a feeling of blissful elation which makes the person feel that everything around him/her is beautiful and rosy. Typically followed by heartbreak or marriage. Random thought – love makes people (with visual powers) go blind and allows people (who’re visually impaired) to see the world in a new light…

M – is for Money – something that allows some to fill their stomachs with food and some to fill their hearts with love and friendship. The proverbial oasis, chased by the most of the mankind throughout their lives, in their pursuit of happiness. Those who possess some of it, want more of it and those who have loads of it, find ways of giving it away for noble purposes or to buy fame. Random quote – money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

the new set of rules… and some thoughts to think through

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Aha, the much awaited hundredth post … But sorry folks it will be a bit of an anti climax (atleast for those who thought that after a gap of 3 weeks I shall write something really thoughtful or really clever or something really senti) …

It’s a time for new beginning and as with all new beginnings, a time to lay down the rules – the rules are much the same like the last time (don’t want my dearies to be telling me – oh you’ve changed!) with just one key change – this time I won’t be writing in every day… (Although I hate to admit but) there were days when I did not really have much to write (my mind was blank and I was happy 😉 ) and there were days when I did not feel like writing – the strategy I had adopted to keep up my discipline of posting something everyday was to keep a post or two ready. But there won’t be any such badmaashi this time – it will all be taaza posts, if my mind is khali then so will be my blog…
Another minor change in the modus operandi is that I have decided to post comments – esp. If they are nice comments, I have realized that nobody is bothered about my blog so its all pretty harmless to post comments n all ( not sure if anyone noticed, but this change I had implemented before I had signed off the last time). I have received a grand total of 9 comments till date – all from same person, that really proves that nobody is really bothered and so I should also not worry. So fellas and dearies – do not hesitate to comment, all comments are welcome, the nice ones will definitely be posted, the not so nice ones (well let’s see about those, one thing I can assure u is that the senders of shady comments will definitely get one of my dirty looks when I meet them).

Now what else is happening, a couple of the interesting discussions/thoughts I had recently were –

Are we really educated or is our education system merely making us literate? – the answer probably lies in how we define education and it could very across folks. My humble opinion is that education, should (and must not be restricted to the ability to read and write (literacy) or the ability to earn a living in a white collar job. I think it should also include the ability to think, the ability to apply what they have learnt even in non-job related situations and the ability to grow by experiencing the best that’s out there. I think that everybody should spend atleast some time to experience the best art -whatever one likes, literature, poetry, art (painting/sculpture), movies, music – that has ever been created in the history of mankind. Isn’t it a waste of our life if something magnificent is out there within our reach and we are not smart enough to embrace and experience that. These experiences will only make us better individuals, and isn’t the purpose of education to achieve just that (and not just to get a decent job).

If it’s true that there are as many minds as there are heads then there as many kinds of loves as there are hearts (tolstoy, anna karenina) – very interesting thought, very unique and the question is still unresolved in my mind! – anyone has great thoughts on this then pls feel free to enlighten… My only comment to this one is that most folks tend to stereotype love, which may not necessarily be correct/ true/best way of going about …

And finally, understanding the true character of ppl – it’s obviously quite tough. while most would agree that we should try and judge other ppl’s (and be aware of our own character, hopefully) and be associated with those with good character, but realistically – is it even possible? Is it even worth it? – I have a different take on it (maybe wrong but nonetheless interesting and atleast worth a thought), I believe it’s not worth judging the character of a person who’ll never reveal it to you (and most ppl won’t, unless they really really trust you). I think in some ways it doesn’t really matter in our modern lives where folks know it each other for at max a few years and then go off on their own way – now most folks are nice and polite, so does it really matter if they are “really” nice and polite or if the politeness is a mask that they are wearing – my belief is that in many situations it really does not matter. Now how about folks u spend ur lives with, maybe ur would be spouse. Now I really don’t want to discourage folks (and I know some ppl will think that I am just being escapist and not trying hard, but I think I am being realistic here), and I pray that I am wrong, but it’s bloody tough and almost impossible to do that before marriage. It’s just how our society is shaped up and the expertise that all of us have gained in carrying off all of our masks (it’s really very sad, but true). So regardless of if its a love or a arranged marriage, it’s very difficult to determine the true character of the person. So under what circumstances do we reveal our true character, I can think of a couple –
If we are invisible – nobody can see what we do – there is no issue of judgement or morality of others, we ourselves are the judge of our behavior. Its our own morality that guides or actions. If there is nothing to lose, except our own morals.

when we are in such a sticky mess that we are about to lose everything that we have earned (money, respect, lose) till date. How we face the situation then, do we still remain cool, do we still remain moral, can we own up our mistakes, do we have the courage to resolve the issue, those are the things that determine true character, according to me.

Now neither of the above two situations are likely to be encountered by most ppl with their would be spouses, so it will be jolly difficult to judge true character. Ofcourse, what can be judged much easily is if the person is nice, polite, stable, genuine and sensible (and broadly rich, or shall I say “well off”) – all important traits, I think.

Let me conclude this now, I think I have written enough “thoughtful” things for one post.